


I Am Not Leaving

by hellorflying



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Celestial problems, Daddy Issues, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Love, Forgiveness, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Los Angeles, Love, Mild Smut, Post-Lucifer (TV) Season/Series 05 Part 1, Supportive Chloe Decker, Vulnerability, Vulnerable Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27025108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellorflying/pseuds/hellorflying
Summary: When Lucifer breaks down after his father's arrival on earth, Chloe is right there by his side and she isn't intending on leaving.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 4
Kudos: 180





	I Am Not Leaving

It was almost midnight, when Chloe Decker exited the elevator and stepped into Lucifer's penthouse. It was relatively dark, as only a dim blue light from behind the bar was illuminating the room, and also extraordinarily quiet. Only the distant sound of LA's traffic and the quiet echoing of the music from the nightclub was filling the penthouse that normally reeked of color and life. It now seemed cold and almost deserted.

Her gaze fell on Lucifer or rather on what seemed to be only bits and pieces of the man she knew. His head was hanging between his slouched shoulders as he was leaning over his piano for support, wearing nothing but his velvet red bathrobe. To her, it seemed that he could collapse at any given second. With one hand he was securing himself over the piano and with the other one he was clunging onto an half empty glass, filled with a gold-brownish liquor, so desperately that his knuckles had turned white already.

"Lucifer," Chloe said quietly and softly in an effort not to startle him. The man she knew as both physically and mentally strong, the man who was always keen on keeping his composure now seemed incredibly small. And broken. "Lucifer." she said and took another step in his direction, but didn't reach out to touch him just yet.

"Detective," His voice thudded through the penthouse. It was so cold it sent a shiver down her spine, "What are you doing here?" he asked, but didn't show the slightest inclination to turn around and face her.

"I am here to check up on you," Chloe replied simply.

"There is no need for that."

"Well, I am not leaving, Lucifer." she said with such conviction that told him he wouldn't be able to get rid of her so easily. Not tonight.

The scotch glass hit the piano with a loud thud, which caused her to gasp in surprise, before Lucifer slowly, almost in slow motion, turned around to face her. And what she saw only strengthened her will to stay. He barely managed to stand upright, his hair was loosely hanging over his forehead and his eyes were red - and not in his devilish way, but in a very human way.

He snickered, extending both his arms to the sides, as if wanting to show off the mess he was, "You should."

She sucked in a deep breath. Of course she knew that this wasn't gonna be easy, after all she was used to it by now, but being pushed away over and over again still felt like a stab in the heart. And it also further ignited the fears she was harboring deep inside of her chest, the fears Michael had tapped into so successfully. She still remembered how her heart had wrenched inside of her chest, when one second Lucifer had been standing in front of her in that evidence closet, the words already on his lips, and in the next he had been gone. But when she heard about God's arrival on earth and all that other crazy stuff that had happened in what had felt like a mere second to her, she realized that for now she was gonna have to trust that teeny tiny little part inside of her that told her that he loved her and that they could actually make it work.

She briefly closed her eyes, trying to push those thoughts into the back of her head, at least for the time being. Right now, she needed to vouch for her position, because nothing, not even demons from hell or some other celestial BS, could keep her from staying. Not tonight. "Why? So you can let yourself climb even further into that hole of self-destruction?" she asked then, a tad of anger was resonating in her voice.

He picked up and emptied the scotch glass at one gulp and scoffed. "So what, you think that I am just wallowing in self-pity?" His voice was raising with every word he was saying, though it seemed he was lacking the energy to actually yell.

"No that's- Lucifer, that's not what I meant."

"Just leave, detective." he interrupted her and even though his voice was still cold and distant, he no longer sounded as convinced of his own words as he did just a few minutes ago when she had first arrived.

"I am staying," she said confidently, as she was feeling vindicated, and took another step in his direction. Her eyes met his and she could see that he was deeply in pain. "I am here to remind you that you are not alone. You are not alone in this Lucifer."

For a moment he looked at her, almost in disbelief, before, in the next second, it seemed as if he was looking right through her. Using that moment, she decided to take a leap and closed the remaining distance between them. "Hey." she said softly and cupped his face with her hands, carefully studying his features. His cheeks were cold and wet and the dark bags under his eyes gave away how tired he really was. His eyes were restless and empty at the same time and all she wanted to do in that moment was take a little bit of the guilt and the pain that seemed to be crushing him, away. "What happened, Lucifer?" she asked then.

At the sound of her voice, he looked down, locking his eyes with hers again. She was looking at him with so much love and admiration in her eyes that he felt his walls crumbling. A part of him was still fighting that, a part of him kept telling himself that he would be better off not letting her in, even though she had proven him wrong about a dozen times. _If you think I don't know who you are by now, you are wrong. If you think I am not gonna forgive you for your flaws and your mistakes, you are wrong._ With a sharp intake of breath, he felt his walls collapse almost entirely. "My father happened." he mumbled simply, his voice was shaky and full of pain.

It had been a few crazy days, well, that would actually be putting it mildly. He had almost confessed his love for her, only to be cut short by Amenadiel's powers going crazy. Michael had shown up then with Maze by his side - a betrayal that still cut deep - and as if that wasn't enough to deal with in one day, Lucifer's father, who was none other than God himself, had shown up on earth. The following family dinner was only the cheery on top.

"I know that you are probably not gonna wanna hear this," Chloe spoke up, "and you are probably not gonna belief me either. But I am gonna tell you anyway." She made a brief pause, almost as if to test whether he would actually hear her out - and take her words to heart. "From what I have witnessed these past few days, Lucifer, I think your dad does care about you, even if-"

"Oh," he groaned, "Please don't tell me he shows it in his mysterious ways."

"I wasn't," she admitted, fully aware that she was striking a nerve.

But for the past few days she had watched Lucifer and his dad interact. And as much as Lucifer didn't want to see it, his father did care a lot about him. Sure, those few days were nothing compared to the hundred and thousands of years they had been living as father and son. She didn't have the slightest clue of what had happened between the two of them over the millennia. The only thing she did know was that once upon a time, Lucifer - or Samael - had been cast out of heaven after his rebellion against god.

And honestly, a part of her was surprised about her own words. How could she speak up for the guy that was at least partly responsible for Lucifer's issues? After all, what kind of father would abandon his child and force it to rule hell, to torture people?

But at the end of the day, it all came down to the fact that, despite his claims, Lucifer couldn't stand this 'feud' between him and his father. After all she was the only human who could see him for who he really was. And there was one thing that couldn't have become clearer those past few days: as much as he pretended he didn't care, Lucifer was desperately longing for his father's love and acceptance. And sometimes he just needed a little nudge in the right direction.

Her eyes fixed on him, because she wanted him to see that she meant every word she was saying, she continued: "What I am trying to say is that you have to let him care for you, you know? And not for his benefit, but for yours. Because believe me, I am not trying to defend him. But just like any other parent, even God himself made mistakes. And you are allowed to be angry..but if you want to get past this and finally make things right, which I know you do, you need to forgive him."

Lucifer just let out a bitter chuckle, "Forgive him? Detective, I think-"

"Yes. Forgive him. And more importantly, you need to forgive yourself...and realize that you are worthy of his love. Realize that you are worthy of being loved in general." she interrupted him, "Because you are." He opened his mouth, wanting to say that she was only saying that to calm him down, but much to his own surprise, he found that it was working, so he just let out a weary sigh. Maybe she wasn't even totally wrong.

"We are gonna be okay, Lucifer. We are gonna get through this together, okay?" she whispered and slowly bobbed her head up and down, when a single tear slipped from his eye. _With him being vulnerable around her, she often forgot how strong he truly was._ His eyes were glassy and he seemed all too human. With her thumb she brushed the tear away, before pulling him in for a hug. Despite his new gained invulnerability around her, he was now vulnerable around her in a whole nother way. He finally let her in.

With his face buried in her shoulder and her hand pressed against his neck holding him close, she felt him relax against her. Sometimes she was truly amazed how after having lived for eternity he still wasn't sick of it all. Life on earth was tricky at times, but life in hell, where he had spent eons, that was a whole nother story. And she was really glad that she was able to give him a home of sorts here on earth, a place to belong, a sanctuary that allowed him to finally be vulnerable, to finally let himself feel.

She felt him tremble against her, as thick, salty tears were escaping his eyes and leaving small wet stains on her blouse. "I just..don't know how." he mumbled into her hair, his voice so broken it was almost too much to bare.

"We'll figure it out. You'll figure it out," she whispered, when he raised his head again. He eyed her, his brows slightly knitted, as if he was surprised by her staunchly faith in him. "What?" she asked and as if she had read his mind, she added: "I do have faith in you...you should too."

Their eyes locked, both glassy from the tears, as greenish-blue met chocolate brown. One could have probably gotten the power to light a lamp from the sizzling connection between their eyes, so intense was their starring battle.

"Detective, I.." Lucifer said quietly, their foreheads resting against each other, "Chloe,"

And suddenly, as if they had been struck by lighting, they collided. He met her soft, pink lips and pressed gently for a moment, before he parted her lips and snaked his tongue into her mouth. Still not feeling entirely like himself again he counted on her to steady them. And she did. Her hands traveled upwards only to clasp together behind his neck, while his moved downwards and found her waist.

Grazing her fair skin with his lips, he left a trail of hungry kisses on her neck and cleavage, before he bid her lower lip, sucking it in a way that left her tingling with sensation. "Lucifer," she moaned softly. Their eyes wide open, his eyebrows moving up ever so slightly, time seemed to stop for a few seconds, before their lips crashed together again.

They stumbled backwards towards his bedroom, desperately trying to free each other of their clothes. Deeply entangled in each other, soft moans and laboured breaths were now filling the room and it was only many minutes later that the sounds subsided and silence took over. Both naked, they were laying next to each other, when Chloe reached out to intertwine her hand with Lucifer's, making an unspoken promise. Their eyes met, before he pulled her in his arms, now seeking her closeness, and for the first time that evening, Lucifer was smiling. He wasn't alone in all of this. Chloe was right there by his side. And he would figure it all out. They would figure it all out. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Hii! I hope that Chloe's line of argumentation made sense to you..but somehow I can very well imagine her saying these things. Well, anyway, I hope you liked this oneshot :) By the way: The beginning of this oneshot was inspired by a BTS picture of Lucifer/Tom from 5x10, where he is quite literally leaning over his piano for support.


End file.
